Memories are at times our greatest blessing, and at the same time, our biggest obstacle. For many baby boomers, the picture of a “retirement home” is frozen in time: institutional, hospital‑like hallways where life feels more clinical than comfortable. Think of “Derek,” the Ricky Gervais mockumentary set in a small British care home, where residents are often shown just sitting around with little to do------ that’s the kind of image that sticks. For a lot of boomers, that old memory is exactly what makes it hard to imagine taking the next step today.

This Christmas, the greatest gift given was was a wooden pencil. Five of us----5 pencils. This simple gift is perhaps the best example of the great options available at senior living communities today. More on why later…

Today’s senior living communities look and feel more like boutique resorts than the “facilities” many people remember from the 1990s, with chef-driven restaurants, wellness programs, and even Olympic-style games redefining what it means to age well. Thirty years ago, the average option was far more institutional: fixed menus, cafeteria lines, and a handful of basic activities rather than year-round experiences.

Then vs. now in senior living

Over the last three decades, senior housing has shifted from a medical or custodial model to a lifestyle model focused on independence, social connection, and choice. In the mid‑1990s, many communities were still called “nursing homes,” with shared rooms, limited amenities, and activity calendars centered on bingo, TV, and occasional outings.

Today’s communities emphasize:

• Apartment-style living with private residences and flexible floor plans.
• Hospitality-inspired services: housekeeping, concierge, transportation, and on‑site fitness.
• Integrated wellness programs addressing physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual health.

From cafeteria lines to real restaurants

Dining is one of the clearest examples of the evolution. In the past, many assisted living and senior communities relied on basic, efficiency-focused meal plans and buffet-style service that felt more like a hospital cafeteria than a favorite neighborhood restaurant. Menus were intentionally simple, with limited choice, rigid meal times, and little emphasis on presentation or atmosphere.

By contrast, modern senior living communities are investing heavily in restaurant-style dining that mirrors the broader hospitality and restaurant industry. Today’s offerings often include:

• Multiple venues (formal dining rooms, bistros, cafés, pubs, grab-and-go markets) instead of a single dining hall.
• Chef-led,seasonal menus with fresh, locally sourced ingredients, more whole grains, healthier fats, and less processed food.
• Table service that feels like going out to eat, with flexible hours, expanded beverage programs, and options from fast casual to fine dining.

Baby boomers are helping drive this shift, expecting higher food quality, better atmosphere, and places where they can proudly host family and friends, often in private dining rooms designed specifically for entertaining. Communities are responding with elevated culinary experiences that balance health and indulgence, from wine‑paired dinners to made‑to‑order breakfasts and exhibition cooking.

I can confirm how high the quality is. So much so that at the end of each dining quarter, my parents load up on filets that they freeze for future meals. Imagine doing that 30 years ago!

Programs, wellness, and active aging

Programming has moved far beyond a standard activity calendar toward a full lifestyle ecosystem. Today’s residents expect communities to support staying active, staying sharp, and staying connected, and operators are responding with robust fitness, education, arts, and social options.

One such example is Vi Living’s annual "Active Aging Week,” where residents across multiple communities take part in themed fitness classes, walking challenges, and brain-health workshops over several days. This kind of experience combines movement, mental stimulation, and social fun, building a sense of shared identity and pride that lasts long after the week is over. Residents encourage one another, track their progress, and bring that renewed energy and connection back into their everyday routines

What this means for today’s families

For adult children and Silver Gen consumers evaluating communities, the contrast between yesterday’s “room and board” and today’s experience-first environments is stark. Instead of asking only “Is this safe for Mom or Dad?” families can now ask questions like:

• "Would my parents choose to eat in this restaurant even if they didn’t live here?”
• “What kind of wellness, social, and competitive programs will keep them engaged and energized?”

The best communities are leaning into this new standard, building amenities and programs that feel aspirational, not institutional, and making senior living a place people move to for the lifestyle, not just for the care.

Now back to the pencils. Soon after moving into their new community, my dad wandered into the woodworking shop and was instantly hooked. It had EVERYTHING—every tool you could imagine—but even better, it had a tribe of woodworkers gathered for the same reasons: creativity and companionship. You can hear the happiness in his voice whenever he talks about it.

His project this past fall:

5 pencils. Each with a custom component. Simple and heartfelt, created in an environment that he looks forward to every week. His happy place.